Older and Bolder – Mature heroines save the day!

Last week I guest blogged at The Five Scribes blog.  I’m repeating that blog here this week.

Why mature women matter

Recently I was with a gorgeous redhead at a writer’s conference (my roommate for the event) and we came upon one of the workshop presenters (who happened to be a man closer to my age – probably older – than hers) who graciously responded to my roommate’s question and proceeded to invite himself along for another function. That was all well and good, and fine with me. Here’s where it got sticky, I tried to insert myself into the conversation a couple of times, but quickly discovered the silver-haired man did not know I existed.  He only had eyes for youth and beauty.

I don’t blame him, my friend is gorgeous, but whatever happened to common courtesy? “Hello, other person who I am not the slightest bit interested in.  Nice to meet you, now, let me ogle your friend, if you don’t mind.”

My solution?

I don’t put up with stuff like that anymore. I wish I could say I grabbed him by the lapels and forced him to look at me.  “I exist, jerkhead! Therefore I am.”  But, unlike him, I enforce that common courtesy I was pining over in the prior paragraph.  So I disappeared, (how can you disappear when you don’t exist, you ask?) and went off where I knew I would be welcomed.  Who has time for that stuff at this age?  My gorgeous friend is perfectly capable of handling social situations, and, as it turned out, karma was afoot.


A fact of life’s stages

There comes a time in each woman’s life when she slips from the radar in some areas, but comes into her own in so many other aspects of life.  I didn’t seriously pursue writing
until I was fifty years old (I’m being honest and vulnerable here, so be gentle!)  Sold my first book three days before my fifty-sixth birthday, and continue to write stories about falling in love for Harlequin, Mills & Boon, and The Wild Rose Press.
My favorite quote:

To all, I would say how mistaken they are when they think that they stop falling in
love when they grow old, without knowing that they grow old when they stop
falling in love...” Gabriel Garcia Marquez.

Life applications

That quote can be applied to so many things in life!  I worry about people who become overly cautious, or stop doing things because they feel past their prime.  I ziplined for the first time in 2010 in Kauai, got on the back of a motorcycle for the first time last year, too.  I took a class on gun safety and spent time at a shooting range a couple years back. In 2005 on my own, I picked up and went to the UK because my daughter was spending a semester in Oxford.  Did I worry about traveling alone?  A little, but not enough to hold me back. I welcomed the adventure of staying in B&Bs, learning the local transportation, exploring the city, and discovering restaurants and pubs unlike anything I’ve found in the U.S.

As a writer, I get to hang out with wonderful women of all ages at writer’s conferences.  Instead of feeling intimidated, it invigorates me. We have a common thread – we all write some form of romance.  And though, after twenty-nine years of marriage, the first spark of falling in love may be a distant memory, it has never been forgotten.  I love rekindling that spark with each book I write.

In our hearts we’re eternally twenty-five

One quick look in the mirror re-enforces our true age, but soul-age is eternally young.  Ask anyone with white hair. When a person gets swept away by music, do they feel any specific age?  Or when they’re engrossed in the wonder of a Monet painting, is age an issue?  When I close my eyes and ride amusement park rides, I’m a kid again.  Snorkeling in refreshing azure seas, I am ageless and timeless.  Tasting the subtly infused herbs and spices of a new chef, my palate knows no age requirement.  And love, yes, if you’re lucky, falling in love happens several times a day.  With who and what, is completely up to you.

I don’t know about you, but these days, older and bolder heroines are the kind I want to read about!


ONE FOR THE ROAD a Wild Rose Press Contemporary Romance tells the tale of a 46 year old D’Anne Palmer, stranded and broke, a 40 foot RV her only possession, and Tyler
White an ex-country star on his comeback tour.  As they journey from Nashville to Las Vegas, via Texas, with the band and Tyler’s dog, can close quarters help a has-been singer and a widow with California style find love?

For an excerpt of One for the Road go here.

I love to write older heroines with a few lines on their faces to prove they’ve
stared down that enemy who tries to tell them, “You’re too old.  It’s too late.”  And if my daunting stare doesn’t scare away the negativity, I’ve recently mastered a mean sidekick that will leave doubt and insecurity on their respective keesters.

One for the Road
The Wild Rose Press; Amazon Kindle

Until next week, make it a great one!






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6 Responses to Older and Bolder – Mature heroines save the day!

  1. Hi Lynne,

    What a wonderful post!!! The scene you were describing above… I’ve lived that scene over and over again so many times I can’t even tell you. However, it wasn’t from the perspective of the more mature friend, but the fat one. I didn’t even date until I was 24. I’ve been the spontaneous AND pre-scheduled third wheel more times than I care to count. And despite the fact that I was the size that I was, I was more invisible then the “toothpicks” standing next to me.

    I know you’re NOT fishing for complements from this post, but I think you’re absolutely gorgeous and I hope your red haired friend didn’t go off with the jerk-wad who obviously has the social skills of an ape.

    Seriously, when I read you were a nurse for 20 years, I took notice. I worked at a hospital delivering food trays in a hair net to get through college and remember watching the nurses in awe (knowing I would NEVER want to be one… lol). You’re amazing and monkey man needs a reality check.

    Congratulations on pursuing so many exciting and wonderful things! I’m still learning to be comfortable in my own skin and I’m envious of those that have discovered the secret. Oh, and the paragraph where you talk about how your ageless when you experience music, art, food, etc. Just beautiful! My favorite line: “And love, yes, if you’re lucky, falling in love happens several times a day. With who and what, is completely up to you.”

    Thank you for sharing!!!

    • Thank you so much for commenting, Christine! I realized when I wrote this blog that many women know this feeling, for many different reasons. Yours touched my heart, and I am so incredibly proud of your for losing a hundred-plus pounds. You are gorgeous, too. In fact, you could have been my redheaded friend that night! LOL.

      Some of the indignities in life must be endured – but we have so much else to enjoy about being alive, I recommend we not dwell on the downers for long. However, it did inspire me to write a heck of an emotional blog!

      So glad you read and enjoyed the blog.


  2. Maria says:

    I remember the first time that I learned age was relative. I was the Nature Director at a Girl Scout Camp and was one of the “older” councilors at twenty-four. One of the councilors-in-training asked me how old I was and I blithely told the infant. She looked at me in wide-eyed shock and whispered “That old?” I had friends even then that ranged in age from seventeen to fifty-two and that particular week I was with some of my “older” friends who took a week each summer to volunteer at this camp. The three of them almost wet their pants and the rest of the week all I heard was them whispering to me, “That old?”

    And you are so right about what keeps you young, falling in love with other people, other activities and yourself over and over again.

    That poor man, his imagined comeuppance reminds me of the scene from Moonstruck with Olympia Dukakis. Rose Castorini was a great older female character! Book wise, I loved Nora Robert’s heroine Rosalind Harper in the Black Rose, the 2nd book in her Garden Trilogy. It was the first and only time that Nora broke away from her normal three heroines – athletic/intellectual girl, quiet/girl next door and beautiful/exotic girl.

    • What goes around comes around, right Maria? I have to admit of being young and thinking anyone over thirty was old. Just shows how little I knew, and all those kiddies who think that way now, know.

      I think anyone over the age of fifty could pretty easily get into any movie theater at senior discount, because those kids can’t descriminate between middle age and sixty-five. At first it offended me to have them automatically give me the discount. Now, appreciate the savings!

  3. robena grant says:

    Interesting blog post. To combat the “you’re so old syndrome” I moved to a small desert community where mostly retired people go to spend their last decade or two. I was considered “young” until this year. ; )

    Seriously, I think I’m more comfortable being on the older side now because that feeling of having to keep up, having to compete, is gone. I can just be me and to heck with what people think. I recall Jerry Seinfeld doing a skit on how old do you have to be before you just back out of the garage without looking (because you’ve shrunk and can’t see over the seat, or your neck is so stiff you can’t turn your head) and say “I’m old, and I’m backing out.”

    I’m not quite “there” yet but it’s getting close. Ha ha.

  4. Hi Robena!

    I’m laughing at your comment about – how old do you have to be before you back out of the garage without looking. We live next door to a couple who have reached that point, and we cringe whenever they insist on driving if we go out for dinner. I literally close my eyes and pray, then I realized, that’s what he’s doing!

    Thanks for reading and commenting. I need to visit your webiste next!