THE FINE ART OF MOONING by Lynne Marshall

Many years ago on a cross-country flight, they played classic Johnny Carson clips.  Remember the Amazing Karnak routine on the Tonight Show?  One joke made me laugh out loud.

Imagine Karnak wearing that goofy swami hat lifting the envelope to his forehead and knowing the “answer” before his sidekick Ed McMahon even asked the question.

Answer: “A full moon.”

Of course, this set off Ed’s giggling before he could get the question out.

Question:  “What do you get when Orson Wells drops trou?”

(For those who may not remember Orson Wells, he was an actor, writer, and director most famous for Citizen Cane who became, shall we say, larger and larger than life as time went on.)

I’ve never mooned anyone in my life, so when a character in my book needed to moon, I had to do research.  I’ll just let that thought percolate a bit.

Anyway, Joy Waltham, the panic prone foodie did something she’d never done before.  Under duress, granted, but nevertheless, she mooned total strangers to distract attention away from her ex-husband.  So we’ll call it mooning for a good cause.

One of my favorite scenes in my latest book, Too Close for Comfort, involves the fine art of mooning.  After Paul Donovan dealt with his clearly titillated response to his ex-wife’s shenanigans, in typical cop form, he needed to get to the, er, bottom of Joy’s moon.

Here’s an excerpt from Too Close for Comfort:

Joy’s heart pumped a wild rhythm. All her brain cells were programmed to alive-and-loving-it! Had she really just dropped her pants and hung her backside out the door?

“What the hell was that?” Paul yelled.

“I created a diversion so you could get out of there.” She tossed him an irritated look. “I was saving your butt.”

She sped on. Gravel and rocks flew and popped. Peeling rubber would have been even sweeter.

“Saving me from what?”

She glanced into the rear view mirror and saw the shadowed forms of four men standing in the driveway. Her mouth went dry and her pulse kicked up. “Those men!”

Those men were probably boys looking for a quiet place to toss back a few long necks. They’re not even following us, Joy.”

“That’s because they’re still shocked by my ingenious diversionary maneuver.”

“That was some maneuver all right.”

She didn’t have to look at him to know he was smirking. With no time to pull up her pants, she sat in a puddle of corduroy on the cold Ford seat. Was he checking her out? As soon as she felt it was safe, she’d pull off the road and fix herself.

“I don’t know who they are or why they were there, but I didn’t want them to find you.”

Invigorated and alive, she pressed harder on the gas. “You know, four against one. Not that you’re not up to the fight.” Joy couldn’t seem to keep her mouth shut, feeling like she was starring in her own action movie. The car careened off the shoulder. “So I distracted them,” she said, straightening out on the turn.

He pressed on an invisible brake and held onto the armrest when she swung wide around another corner. “You certainly distracted me.”

“I saw it in a movie once.” She grinned and glanced at him. “I think it worked, too.”

Paul cocked his head toward her hips then back toward the warehouse. “How in the hell did you do that?”

She ignored his lack of confidence in her driving and thought for a moment. How the heck had she done it? “Let’s see. I unzipped my pants, stopped the car, opened the door and held onto the steering wheel and door frame like when I wind-surfed yesterday, then let the pants drop, and hung my butt outside. And damn it was cold.”

Her excitement spilled over onto him. Or maybe it was her driving? No, it was more than that. Paul’s eyes looked feverish, and a little confused. A forgotten feeling between Joy’s thighs surprised her.

She was hot and he looked sexy wearing his Colin Farrell knit cap. She bet he was carrying, too.

There was absolutely nothing like a sexy man with a loaded gun.

“Pull over.” He didn’t sound nearly as enthusiastic as she felt.

From: Too Close for Comfort by Lynne MarshallToo Close for Comfort by Lynne Marshall

So let that be a lesson to anyone considering rushing out and mooning strangers, especially when you’re on a reconnaissance mission.  It can get you in trouble!

Today is the official release day for this book, and I’m itching to give away something. I’ll choose one name to give a $10.00 online gift card to Amazon or Barnes & Noble.  All you have to do is answer this question.

Have you ever mooned anyone? Why or why not?

Until next week, when I’ll announce the winner, make it a great one!

Lynne

For a couple of early-read reviews on Too Close for Comfort, go here.

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47 Responses to THE FINE ART OF MOONING by Lynne Marshall

  1. Sam Beck says:

    Me, moon someone? Never. Well…there was that one time in Vegas, but George Clooney, the Bellagio and I reached an equitable agreement which involves me never mentioning the incident so … ‘nuf said. 😉

  2. Louisa Bacio says:

    Nope, never mooned. And I certainly couldn’t imagine doing it out a window! Thanks for the morning laugh and happy release day.

    • Hi Louisa-
      Thanks for stopping by and reading, glad I could make you smile. I’ve never had the urge to drop trou for any reason…so far.
      Oh, heaven help the world if I change my mind on that. LOL

  3. Laura says:

    Hi Lynne!
    Congrats on the new release!
    I’ve only mooned someone once – of course, it was in college – my friends and I lived in a dorm that directly faced another dorm where one of our friends lived. One night we saw her sitting in her room studying by the window, so we decided to moon her. We didn’t realize that her room was directly over a study lounge in that dorm and half the people in there saw us too! Luckily, they had no idea who we were!
    Thanks for the fun giveaway 🙂

    • Hi Laura!
      Oh, that sounds like a perfectly wonderful use of THE MOON. 🙂

      Great story, and if you hadn’t gotten the nerve to moon, you would have missed out on a story you can one day, way down the road, tell and shock your grandkids.

      I must admit, a group moon goes a long way. 🙂

  4. Tanya Hanson says:

    Too funny, Lynne. My twin brother in high school mooned drivers from the bus on the way home from a football game. Did he get in trouble at our private Lutheran high. Sheesh. Best wishes on the release! I’ll post at FB a bit later. xo

    • Hi Tanya –
      Ah, the fact it was a Lutheran HS makes the story all the more fun, doesn’t it? LOL
      Thanks for helping to spread the word about this book – it is a pet project, and if I never publish anything else, I will be happy that Too Close for Comfort went into print and e-book.

  5. Vonnie Davis says:

    Strains of CCR singing “Bad Moon Rising” are pumping through my brain. Only in my case, if I were to moon someone, it would be “Big Moon Rising.” Nope, the idea has never occured to me. Loved your excerpt. Looks like my Kindle is getting a treat today!

    • Hi Vonnie!
      LOL – All moons welcome at my website. We do not send anyone away.

      Thanks for reading the excerpt. One of the things you’ll find out, or probably remember, is that Amazon doesn’t post the e-book until a few days after the print. It makes for a tricky launch day, you know?

      Please hold that thought for your kindle and check back next week for the Amazon e-book version.

      I’m so looking forward to your book, COMING SOON! Mona Lisa’s Eyes (did I screw up the title?) forgive me if I did. My mind is all over the place today.

  6. Robena Grant says:

    Nope I have to admit I’ve never mooned anyone and at my age and with my wrinkly old butt doubt it will happen in this lifetime. ; ) However, I must say that I loved the “natural” mooning of Jack Nicholson in the movie Something’s Gotta Give. I think that was the title? You know the one with Diane Keaton, and she’s the writer.

    Great excerpt.

    • Hi Robena!

      Oh, I loved that move SOmethings’s Got to Give. It gave me hope that America was ready for mature romances. There haven’t been nearly enough love-after-forty books or films IMHO.

      As for the mooning – I’ll do it if you’ll do it. I’ll double dare ya!

      Hey – let’s start a club – Old Girls Moon Too *(sounds like a good book title) LOL

  7. amy o'neal says:

    omg that picture with the pumkins is hilarious!!!!! but no i wouldnt dare moon anyone lol….would not be a pretty sight

  8. Mackenzie Crowne says:

    Thanks for the morning chuckle, Lynne, and high fives for release day. I’m … uh, gonna plead the fifth on the mooning thing, just in case Sister Mary Beatrice has become cyber savvy and is still looking for the guilty backside. 🙂

    • Too funny – MacKenzie – thanks for giving me a chuckle.

      Hmm, we seem to have a theme going – first Tanya’s Lutherines, now the catholic girl…

      Moon on! Waving at Sister Mary Beatrice in case she follows my blog. 🙂

  9. It’s hard for me to believe that there are people who have never mooned! I have no idea how many times I mooned other cars when I was a teenager and we’d go out cruising. I do admit though, I never did it on a school bus. Tanya, my hat is off to your brother. Or maybe I should say my pants are down.
    Happy release day, Lynn! Good luck and great sales!
    sandy4lee@yahoo.com

    • Sandra – you brave soul – good for you and your free spirit in the mooning department.

      I’m afraid it’s too late to go back and relive my youth, but it was fun writing a character who mooned (kind of got a vicarious rush from it) LOL.

      Thanks for reading the blog and commenting.

  10. Dee J. says:

    LOL. Joy cracks me up! Nope, never mooned! Too chicken! BTW- that pumpkin pic is too funny!!! OMG! Who thinks of that?

    • Hi Dee J!

      Joy was a fun character to write, but Paul will forever be my favo fave!

      You wouldn’t believe the number of mooning pumpkin yard out that is out there in cyberspace – go forth and google!

      Thanks for keeping me company today.

  11. Calisa Rhose says:

    Too funny, Lynne! I don’t remember ever mooning anyone, but I’ve been mooned before. I can’t wait to dig into this book! Actually, I will very soon, as soon as galley is complete and I’m free again.

  12. Maria Powers says:

    I’ve never mooned anyone but the idea of you “researching” this made me laugh hysterically. Did you go on drive by’s with professional mooners?

    Anyway, congratulations on the book release!

    • Hi Maria!

      I practiced in my own car (as per the excerpt scene) in my garage with the garage door down!

      May my fanny never see the light of day.

      What we do for writing, right? I once heard Susan Elizabeth Phillips tell how she had her husband lock her in the trunk of their car…and the neighbors happened to see the whole thing. !

  13. infinitieh says:

    Congrats on your new release!

    I have never mooned. I never wanted to or, I suppose, needed to. 🙂

  14. Janie Emaus says:

    Too funny! Congrats on your new release.

  15. Fiona Lowe says:

    As an Aussie, I couldn’t relate to the people you mentioned but I was totally intrigued about the woman who mooned someone to keep the attention off her ex husband…what was he doing?
    Can’t say I’ve mooned and the last time I saw one was on a school bus full of 14 year olds 😉
    All the best with your book!!!

    • Hi Fiona –
      I thought the world knew Johnny Carson, funny how that goes. Thanks for reading anyway. As for Joy, the heroine of TCFC, mooning, well, that was a fun scene that led to a slightly more interesting part after the end of this excerpt.

      Thanks for the good wishes for my book, “mate”! 🙂

  16. Good to know that you researched this thoroughly Lynne! I’ve neither mooned or been mooned (is that to do with being British?), but I’m paying close attention to the technique 🙂

    • Hi Annie –
      LOL about paying attention to the technique of mooning. You know? It might not be such a bad thing to have in one’s arsenal of diversionary tricks. :)Personally, I prefer when scarecrow’s made from straw and pumpkins moon rather than people.

      Thanks so much for reading the blog and stopping by.

  17. Nas says:

    Hi Lynne!

    Happy release day! Loved the excerpt!

    Does mooning in private count with only the significant other for audience?

    Lol! Loved your research!

  18. Maria says:

    OMG, LOL, laughing as I write. You know Nas I can understand Lynne not wanting to go there. The whole point about mooning is that it makes public something that’s supposed to be private. Now consenting adults in private, that’s a different thing entirely……

    I remember a long time back when I was working in Ireland, I was working in a small office where everyone knew each other very well. On day, during a quiet moment, we staff were having an open discussion and sharing stuff, I’m not sure what the main topic was. But one of the men in the office started sharing about how one day, when he was depressed, his wife took him completely by surprise by mooning in their living room. Apparently she’d decorated her rear end with a ‘face’ made from lipstick. I have no idea how she accomplished that, she must have been some sort of acrabat. Icertainly hope that the lady succeeded in making her husband laugh and snap out of her depression, but all I remember about that story is that as soon as he shared it, we office girls just smiled politely, but we were all horrified. Talk about oversharing! I mean, we met this woman every so often, on social occasions, how would we be able to see her now without remembering that story. Right then, the phone began to ring and the ‘party’ broke up suddenly. I was niver so glad to hear a phone ringing and get an excuse to exit an awkward situation.

    Lynne, I need to read this book. It sounds amazing. You appear to be breaking the mould where writing romance fiction is concerned.

    • Hi Maria – Oh what a funny story. That does remind me about a fad with folks at work in US – for some reason people started photocopying their butts on the xerox machines! Made a person think twice before making copies of paper, I tell you.

      Oh, I love your comment – I’ve broken the mould in romance. I would love to think that, but there are plenty of books featuring over-forty love out there, I think. We just haven’t discovered them! I sure hope a few people discover Too Close for Comfort! 🙂

      Thanks so much for chiming in. fun story – all men should be that lucky to have a wife breaking their foul moods. !

      • Maria says:

        It’s so nice that there is a trend of romance for people over forty. It’s nice to think the younger folk aren’t having it all their own way! As they say in Ireland, ‘the older the fiddle, the sweeter the tune.’ BTW ‘fiddle’ means a violin, in case you don’t know…..you probably do, but various words in English change from place to place.

  19. Kate Hardy says:

    Love the scarecrow pic, Lynne – and grinned over the excerpt. I too want to know how you did your research 😉 All I could think of was that scene from Grease!

    • Hi Kate! I’m so glad I could make you smile today. It’s early yet here, and I can’t recall the Grease mooning scene. But I haven’t watched it in eons. Well, that’s a gret excuse to see it again, thanks!

      And thank you for stopping by and commenting.

      hugs,
      Lynne

  20. Great post, Lynne! Loved the excerpt! Going to look for your book for my Kindle!

    • Hi Wendy!

      Thanks for reading, and I’m glad you enjoyed the excerpt. Amazon will release the e-book in a few days for Kindle. Otherwise, the mobi version from WRP works on my Kindle. *(though I tend to be a purist, I have read other book version on the Kindle).

      You’re a peach!

  21. Darcy Lundeen says:

    Funny, funny post, Lynne. And the excerpt is great.
    As for me, nope, never mooned, for which the world should reward me with a hearty Thank You. Of course, I did have a Sicilian father. I mean one who actually came from Sicily. So, no, we did not moon in our family, because along with Lutherans and Sister Mary Beatrice, Sicilian dads, as wonderful and protective as they are, would look on such things with…umm…considerable disdain. If you know what I mean.

    • Hi Darcy,
      I am so glad you enjoyed the blog. BTW, my brother-in-law came to US from Sicily when he was ten, so I get what you mean about mooning being frowned upon.

      I suspect the world would thank all of us who have refrained from dropping trou, as it were.

      Thanks for commenting!