THIRTY YEARS – Or – Love Means ALWAYS Having to Say You’re Sorry!
By Lynne Marshall
This week my husband and I will celebrate our thirtieth wedding anniversary. We’re both amazed we’ve lasted this long. Maybe it was because we married later than many others, and never once did “If this doesn’t work out” thoughts enter our minds when we said, “I do.” Once we made the decision to get married, we took our commitment very seriously. Or just maybe, we’ve survived this long because we’ve both grown and we love each other more now than when we started out.
As those of you in relationships of any length know, keeping it on track takes a lot of forgiveness and admitting when you’ve screwed up. Unlike that old sappy book/movie, Love Story, where the phrase got coined “Love means never having to say you’re sorry,” if we want our marriages and relationships to survive, we’ve got to say SORRY as often as necessary. In fact, I said it just this morning.
This is a picture of a Welsh love spoon which hangs in our kitchen. Though some spoons can be quite ornate, I chose a simple one. I bought it in Cardiff, Wales when I visited in 2005. I’d discovered “love spoons” when writing my third book (a book that was never published and rightfully so). The hero of that book was a Welshman and he had swapped places with another teacher, an American. The problem was, the American teacher had a roommate. Anyway, in the course of the book, as Rhodri becomes infatuated with his US roommate, he whittles away his frustrations by making a love spoon, which, in Wales, is meant as a gift of intent. I loved learning about the history of these spoons, which are now more of a touristy trinket than the beautifully carved wooden spoons (each with specific symbols of love relevant to the lovers) from years gone by.
As my sweet William and I set off for a week in Scottsdale to celebrate our thirty years together, I leave you with this poem by Christina Rossetti:
- I loved you first: but afterwards your love
- Outsoaring mine, sang such a loftier song
- As drowned the friendly cooings of my dove.
- Which owes the other most? my love was long,
- And yours one moment seemed to wax more strong;
- I loved and guessed at you, you construed me
- And loved me for what might or might not be –
- Nay, weights and measures do us both a wrong.
- For verily love knows not ‘mine’ or ‘thine;’
- With separate ‘I’ and ‘thou’ free love has done,
- For one is both and both are one in love:
- Rich love knows nought of ‘thine that is not mine;’
- Both have the strength and both the length thereof,
- Both of us, of the love which makes us one.
Do you have a favorite love poem? Why not share it or share a link to it to help me celebrate my 30th wedding anniversary.
Until next time, make it a great one!